I was watching Little House on the Prairie and the episode was entitled “Remember Me.” It was about a woman who had been widowed and was now dying and leaving behind three young children. It was Pa Ingalls’ job to find the orphaned children a home. The woman dies and at the burial Reverend Alden reads a poem she had written.
Remember Me with smiles and laughter
For that’s the way I’ll remember you all
If you can only remember me with tears
Then don’t remember me at all
What about that? While walking the path in the park, I passed two benches with memorial plaques on them. One memorial plaque was dedicated to a boy named Matthew who was only 27 and the inscription under his name read “Forever Young.” The other bench was hot pink and the plaque read the girl’s name, Teri, and this: Remembering her radiant smile, contagious laugh, and effervescent spirit. She was only 33. I tried to imagine the pain of the parents who had lost these children. I couldn’t. I said a prayer for their fond remembrances to live on.
I remember a time my husband called me in the middle of the day from work. He wanted to share with me a plaque he saw in a store that made him laugh. It read, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all.” Since my mother’s home going almost six years ago, I do remember her with a lot of laughter. I find myself sharing with my children and grandchildren many stories that relate to our lives at the moment.
We had brought my grandsons to the circus. When the elephants came out, I turned to my 9 year old grandson and whispered in his ear. He turned to me laughing but a little shocked and told me me that I was a naughty Nana. I won’t put in writing what I said, but at that moment I realized the truth of that plaque my husband shared with me. I was remembering my mom with smiles and laughter. I shared with my grandson how his great grandma always made his mommy laugh the same way.
The same remembering happened another day as I dragged my daughter outside to show her the beautiful potted plant I had designed. I told her how my mom would always bring me around her house when I visited her and show me all her flowers and her vegetable gardens. She was proud of the works of her hands and wanted to share her delight with me. I was remembering her.
Recently, while quizzing one of my children in preparation for a big exam using flashcards, I remembered my Papa doing flashcards with me as a little girl. I shared the closeness and love I felt during those times with my papa. I was remembering him with fondness.
It’s funny how now that my parents are gone, I remember mostly all things good. They weren’t perfect, but I think the longer I live the more I understand that we all fail, no matter how noble our intentions are. I think I am remembering their intentional heart of love despite the imperfections.
How about you? How are you remembering your loved ones? Maybe there are some real hurts that still cause you pain. I know a Healer that you can invite into that place of pain who can remove the sting. Forgiveness is key and also will stop repeated offenses to the next generation. Jesus, the Healer, may also be able to replace that pain with joy so you too can remember your loved one with smiles. Make the trade – your sorrows for His joy. Psalm 30:11 reads: You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy. NLT
Pa Ingalls did find the orphaned children a home. The end scene is the little girl in the arms of her new adopted father. No longer orphaned, the camera zooms in and focuses on her precious little face wearing a huge smile. Remember me with smiles and laughter.
