Elizabeth Hugo

Today I was taking my youngest son to the library where he has a tutor for SAT preparation. I’ve always loved driving my children to various activities alone because many rich conversations often took place during our times together. I asked my son if he had a favorite memory of our time caring for his grandpa. His answer to me was the times we felt challenged by the situation at hand and our response was to laugh nervously. I didn’t expect that as an answer.

I told him the memory that flashed in my mind was the time he flew his toy helicopter over Grandpa’s head creating a wind that would be sure to get a response from Grandpa, “There’s an awful breeze in here!”  The conversation continued with the majority of the drive talking about toilet times. My son told me how frustrated he would get when I would leave the house and tell him I’d be back in 15 to 20 minutes, and Grandpa would always choose those times to say he needed to use the bathroom.

My son would walk him to the bathroom and later to the commode in his room when he no longer could lift his foot over the saddle of the bathroom door. Being Papa would sit for quite some time, my son figured out a way to keep him safe without staying in the room with him. He would give him these egg shakers and tell him to shake them while sitting.  As long as my son heard the shakers, he could continue what he was doing in another room knowing he was safe and not trying to get up himself or do other things he wasn’t suppose to be doing. Clever kid.

Then the conversation went to the times we would bring the commode into our living room because we knew it was going to be a long bathroom day back and forth with no “outcome.” Looking back now at what became normal for us at that time seemed bizarre. We always locked the front door so that no one would just walk in to find Papa happily “sitting” there in the living room on his commode. You just did what you had to do to keep life happening around you, and for some reason this became easier for everyone involved.

Our conversation ended with both of us agreeing that despite the craziness that our life took on during our time caring for Papa, we would not have changed anything. There was a satisfaction that came knowing that having Papa live with us was the right decision. Soon my son will have his license and another season will be over for me. No more one on one car conversations while driving my children to their activities. I’m glad we talked today!